Twine Project: Birds of a Feather

It a good start to a RPG or a visual novel, but I think your writing lacks direction. The main character and their friend don't sound like friends nor do they sound like they're in the same space when speaking. I'd recommend going back and tweaking some of the dialogue because it sounds like the two characters are two roommates having a falling out, rather then two best friends parting ways. Side note, the player seems to have inner thoughts that contradict each other, which I understand is to create a more complex character and to have more complex paths in your game, but it makes your character come across as unlikeable. Overall its a solid start to your game and the coding and background looks great, I'd just go back and tweak your characters and some of the writing.  

Technically this is really impressive!! I like the color scheme you have with the peach and green, and the font choice fits that. There are a few moments where I feel like it's hard to connect to whats happening in the story,  theres no lead up to explain why we should care about her lost wings, or why she lost them, or if it's common to have them. There are a lot of questions this leaves, like is she in pain? I think it would be nice to have some more on that. This is nitpicky, but capitalizing words for emphasis in the middle of the sentence disrupts the flow a little bit. 

This is a good start! I like how you are playing with the player's use of emotional/social intelligence for certain sections to affect the outcome and it could be an interesting direction to go. Going through this, I'm highly interested in the culture of this "winged" world and how you are going to reveal the story through the player character's story. It's also interesting how you're playing with the font and page color as well. Can't wait to see where you go with this, keep up the good work!

This is a strong premise. I think developing it further hinges on a couple of questions: Are wings here literal wings, and/or metaphors for something else? The reason why I ask is because further development will perhaps depend on further nuance. How common is for people to lose wings? Can they get them back? Do they lose wings as a result of their own actions, a fortuitous event, or because of the action of others? These are questions that can be explored in the context of conversations with NPCs, confrontations with environments, and of course, through  the rich inner monologue you already started. Very exciting!